


>2YOU CANNOT STOP iT"

by ciredan



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Angst, Canon Nonbinary Character, Canon Transgender Character, Other, not gonna lie i am high as shit, stupid, what the fuck am i talking about, who gave me a keyboard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:53:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25049470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciredan/pseuds/ciredan
Summary: the party is already here ; BYOB
Relationships: Ancom/tankie, LibLeft/AuthLeft, leftist unity - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	>2YOU CANNOT STOP iT"

they both blame each other. but they do not need to.

if only tankie knew that ancom idealised him.

if only ancom knew that tankie envied quer.

the optimisim, the knowledge, the sicism; the pure romantics of the situation. the bells, did, sound like a knell; to kneel; to lie about the purpose, to know the origins, to draw deep of the breath that informs their eyes, to understand, it utmost intimacy, the politics and experience that informs the others' beings. to become as one with the other, to lose sight of the smoking familiarity that lead you to that conclusion and to imagine without pretense the empathy that drew them towards it in the first place.

it is inevitable, of course, that conflict arises. their union is old and fragile, tankie wishes he still possessed that empathy, anarkiddie, as always, wishes que were better, older, less disinclined to avoid the shit that makes them feel awful. together, they are 

leftist unity

\--he doesnt remember what came between--

set 'em straight

NOW, ANARKIDDIE, YOU MUST OF COURSE REALISE THE <> CIRCUMSTACES THAT LEAD TO THIS POSITION IN THE FIRST PLACE? YOU ARE YOUNG; NAIIVE; YOU WILL SURELY LEAD TO THE DESTRUCTION OF US BOTH SHULD YOU NOT REIGN IT BACK, PERHAPS, A SLIGHT BIT; I CANNOT SAY. YOU ARE NOT HERE, I FEEL, THAT YOU ARE IN A PLACE GREATER THAN THIS

maybe it is more substantial; the binary. maybe everything that que knows is a lie, everything que thinks que knows. it's all the the same but, sadly, different; que can't deal, que knows that 

QUE RETREATS

AS QUE ALWAYS DOES

IT IS UNSURE WHY IT DOES SO, WHY IT BELIEVES AS IT DOES? IS IT A BIOLOGICAL TRUTH? IS IT A RESULT OF CIRCUMSTANCE, FICKLE CHANCE? IS BIOLOGY TRULY THE END-ALL OancomF LIFE?

it is the study, at least. the student, subject to dunning-kruger

HOW CAN BIOLOGY BE REAL WHEN IT TAUNTS QUER SO? XE IS NOT BINARY. XIE CANNOT BE, ZE REFUSES TO. THE REJECTION OF THIS MUTUALITY SURELY MUST BE EVIDENCE ITSELF, THAT THERE IS NO OMNIPOTENE IMPOSING ITS MONOCHROMATIC WILL, THAT HE IS AN ANOMANLY, WE ARE ONE, THAT THEY ARE NOT GOING, SIMPLY, TO BEND TO ITS WILL.

there is something inherently anti-capitalist about quer existance. Ancom, maybe, possibly, recognises that their being is in itself tied to and a consequence of the inherent rebellion and a threat that que poses to the rigid hemegony of fascist hierarchy. que wishes it weren't so; that the easier route were open to quem. l'appel du vide, as some would describe it. just an extension of occam's razor, really.

ancom doesn't want it to be this hard, though,

doesn't want to have to leave tankie behind. doesn't want there to have to be so many verbs to describe what que's saying, doesn't want to be so powerless, as if que were simply an auxillary t the action that was in reality in fate's hands, if reality can be said to exist at all.

que wants to love him, wants to be able to love a man, but recognises that all the forces and binaries of life are the ones that refuse to allow them conscience & consort.

ancom has felt this pull quer entire life. que feels, strangely, as though he must love girls, but exists ever-presently between the struggle that knows the feminine to be far more appealing but strains and thrases and hopes that the masculine is in view of redemption. this bittersweet dopple-existance tears and rends and thrashes and fights, too, at his soul; at the knowledge that the men have destroyed and hurt and torn apart his family, his sisters and mothers are aunts, but knowing too that the nature is unavoidable. there is a part of him

HIS SOUL

that must turn towards the darkness and absolve himself of his brothers sins

BUT FEARING THAT HISTORY MUST INDEED REPEAT ITSELF

that must embrace the fact that que is not good, that quer comrades have in fact done wrong

((THAT WE ARE, IN THE END, INALIENABLY HUMAN))

and understand and become as one with that fact.

Que wants to know tankie.

Tankie doesn't know that que is able.

**Author's Note:**

> idontknwowhatshappening
> 
> ihaventbeen soberformorethan3days FOR ABUT 3 MONTH S NOW
> 
> > T_t
> 
> t. donttrustshit
> 
> if you have an issue with the title, tags or description, that they do not adequately describe the fic; consider that all conversation is simply a way of convincing people to do things. the job of the description is not to describe but to convince you to read. and youre here now, so i win.


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